The Itch

It’s getting worse.

Thank goodness for trainers who text lots of pictures

Thank goodness for trainers who text lots of pictures

I haven’t ridden since my lesson in August. If anything, it only made it worse – the itch to ride again. The itch to have my riding muscles back. The itch to be at the barn, in the saddle, as often as I can. In my heart, mounting up again felt like coming home. My body begged to differ. I know it’s a matter of strength. But building strength takes time in the saddle – something I am short on.

I think I’m normally a pretty positive blogger. I’m feeling a little down so hopefully I can indulge myself in a little self pity and move on.

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The reality is that, with Nibbles in training, my only opportunity to ride is in lessons or through a lease. Being out of shape, I don’t have a whole lot to offer by catch riding or offering to keep horses in shape. Heck, I need them to get me back in riding shape. With a horse in training, I cannot afford to lease another. Actually, I cannot afford to take lessons. That’s really what it boils down to. I’m paying to keep my horse in training – and the results are in incredible. But the consequences are that, right now, I do not get to ride myself. Additionally, some other unplanned for expenses have arisen that, frankly, are large enough to completely squash my ability to even pay for two $45 lessons in a month.

Tucker commiserates with me.

Tucker commiserates with me.

Even at a lesson every other week – when that is all the riding I can do without my own horse – is it really even worth it? I know, woe is me. But that’s where I’m at right now. And I still have the itch. But I cannot scratch. Some days, when I feel like I cannot possible stand the itch anymore, I contemplate selling Nibbles and using the money to pay for lessons or a lease for the next year and a half while hubby finishes MBA program.  I live in (nearly) the middle of no where for now and I know two horse people here, neither of which have something I can ride for free.

Please help this lady. She's wearing me out.

Please help this lady. She’s wearing me out.

Anyone know of a horse in northern Indiana I can adopt until March? I promise endless carrots and curries (the brushing kind, not the cuisine, although my husband is Indian…)! I’m trying my darndest to be patient. I know when winter comes, I’ll calm down a little. But right now, in this gorgeous fall weather – my FAVORITE – I’m slowly dying.

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15 thoughts on “The Itch

  1. Carly says:

    Road trip to western NY on the weekends! I have a great big mule beast that won’t turn down snacks for rides. It’s only….what? Six hours? Seven? Eight?

    • Rebecca says:

      THIS would be amazing! Though I don’t know if I could handle the B-dawgs awesomeness. I am lacking in riding awesome these days.

  2. aHorseForElinor says:

    I wouldn’t go through all these sacrifices if I couldn’t ride. Simple truth. Must ride and be with horses, a lot.
    So.
    My horse is not at a trainers. We’re advancing, slowly, but it IS happening. I’d say, if you get a really sweet offer that you can’t stand up, perhaps sell her, and get something for you to ride NOW. .. ?
    Perhaps not what you wish to do, I’m sure. But for me, this is a hobby of enjoying my own horse, and to do that I simply HAVE to be involved myself. (Not saying I wouldn’t love 3 months at the trainer’s, but then she’d better get her Butt home 😉

  3. aHorseForElinor says:

    Oh dear, reading my comment it didn’t come out how I meant it. Sigh.
    Just meant to say it’s OK to feel the need to ride your own horse. 🙂 Hope you get some saddle time soon, yours or a borrowed one!

    • Rebecca says:

      Your comments are well taken; I am not offended at all. I alluded to the same in my own thoughts. I think I just need to take critical stock of what I really want – what my goal really is, short term and long term – and then evaluate if I’m taking the right steps and making the right decisions. If not, then something needs to change. It’s rather cold sounding but I think it’s responsible to be critical about our decisions with horses – especially in that I am married and my choices with my time and finances do not only affect me. 🙂

      • aHorseForElinor says:

        Yes, that’s the sad part about these horses – they cost so much to keep, and take up SO much of our time. I always have to be careful to try to keep a “balance”. And in all that, it’s hard to keep track of what the goals really are, so I’m with you on that 🙂

  4. emma says:

    oh man, i definitely relate to your frustration! during the time i was out of the saddle (from moving and lack of funds) i used to have the most *visceral* riding dreams and would wake up even more sad. if you can make even any lessons at all work (even if it’s only one or two a month) i would try … but i get that might not really be an option. in any case good luck!

    • Rebecca says:

      Thanks! Tucker helps<3 I think I need to talk to my husband and starting ponying up for lessons if it's THAT important to me (and I feel that it is). Otherwise, who am I to complain if I really haven't done my best to make it happen? If I'm being honest, I honestly haven't fought hard enough yet. 😀

  5. needforsteed says:

    I feel for you! I was in a similar situation last year when I finally decided to sell my greeny Arabian in training. He had so much potential and he was coming along great in training, but I couldn’t financially or mentally afford to keep up with a horse that I couldn’t ride at my level. It came down to furthering his education or mine, and I chose the latter. He is now living in Indiana (wow, probably closer to you now!) close to Lafeyette. Sadly, I haven’t really been able to keep up with his new owner as much as I would like, but I believe he’s gone to the dark side and now performs as an Arabian ambassador in the Indiana Saddle-Seat scene and gets royally spoiled with cookies and pretty blankies.

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